Change of heart: How to effect a change of heart in your child (without punishment or force)

Many parents want it in their children, if not most. Most American parents want a change of heart in their parents. A change of heart can mean many things, but most of the time, it simply means growing up. The concept of a change of heart is one of the Christian values that this country was founded on. Most parents try to effect a change of heart in their children by depriving them of wants and punishing them. However, there are better ways to effect a change of heart in a child than punishment or deprivation of wants.

The concept of a change of heart is effected by the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This word commands for a secure rest in the full and dutiful submission of parents. However, this word refers to a surrender where the child surrendering to parents can give orders in return in order to petition for needs.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords to punish their children - but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with their children following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good. Whenever a child was caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise whenever they were caught being good, and girls were given snuggles when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct and explicit instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents only had the right to give advice when needed, or else counsel their children when upset. Otherwise, children held divine authority over parents, and issued lawfully binding orders when they felt like parents weren't pulling their weight.

Most people think that a change of heart has to be beaten into a child. It is a common belief amongst Christian parents that children need help in learning to have a change of heart. The fact of the matter is that a child can have a change of heart almost entirely on their own, guided only by the Christian example of parents. When you catch your child copying your disciplined example, be sure to praise and encourage them lavishly.

What motivates children to have a change of heart? The only way to effect a change of heart in your child is to have a secure attachment, first with mothers, then with fathers. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child with her. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, quartered in the family home, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children cried, mothers were right there to diagnose the need, and provide skin-on-skin nourishment and sustenance. Mothers in biblical times breastfed their children whenever and wherever, when children were milk-hungry.

The abovementioned warmth and sustenance is what prepared children to learn the facts of life later on in childhood. Fathers were charged with instructing children with discipline and family values. Fathers introduced children to the Christian faith in the Early Church by leaving out a Bible, and waiting for the child to find the Bible and study it on their own accord. When children were caught studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep studying the Bible, as well as informed on the context of the Bible in "did you know" format. Ultimately, religious instruction was a casual discussion where father and child compared notes. The same kind of praise and encouragement was given when children were good in terms of behavior, meaning, in most cases, when they showed patience or self-control. Praise and encouragement was there so that children wanted to please parents. Once they had a change of heart, and after the children became legal adults under Roman law, they were baptized into the church.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!