Righteous ordering: Why children call the shots in Christian parenting

Many parents think that they call the shots. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents think they are the one in charge, and cite the Bible as "proof" to their punitive parenting. The fact of the matter is that the Bible, when understood in context, commands that children be in charge of their parents, and righteously demand their every need.

Righteous ordering is part of the Christian doctrine of original sin. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings.

Children, in the Early Church, held divine authority over their parents, with parents being subject to the lawfully binding orders of children. When parents took their children to court, the church elders sided with the child every time, and the parents were ordered by the council to apologize for the undue accusation. Children sometimes took the parents to court for provocations to anger, and if parents were found guilty by the council, they were excommunicated and shunned by the entire Christian community. The only hope that entitled parents had was if they could apologize to their child in court.

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children cried frequently, and usually cried because they needed something. Cries from children were understood as lawfully binding orders by mothers, and thus mothers responded to the every cry of children, guided by her intuition in diagnosing the need, and then providing for a child's every need.

Children aged 6 and up started directly issuing righteous demands on their parents, ordering their parents around. In the Early Church, children called the shots. Parents gave up any fight they had with their children, and gave in to the righteous demands of their children.

Righteous ordering holds that children give the orders to parents, and parents follow. Under Christian law in the Early Church, parents were lawfully required to say "yes" to the every righteous demand of children, with few exceptions. Those exceptions were if the child's orders were either unlawful and/or unworkable. Unless the child was issuing unlawful or unworkable orders, merely saying "no" to a child brought the parents before the council, where they would be excommunicated and shunned by the entire Early Christian community.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared from Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!