Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict Greek Christian parents in the Ephesian church who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline in the Bible is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Parents in biblical times worked to center their entitlement, and from there, children followed suit. Whenever children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged. Children in biblical times were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever a child showed self-control or gave up something they really wanted, they were rewarded with lavish praise and encouragement. Sometimes, parents had to give direct instructions to children. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to parental instruction. Parents could not issue orders in biblical times, and so parents pleaded with their children, and usually, children listened to parents, due to having a secure attachment with their children.
Children need to be motivated to follow the example of parents, and that means they must approve of their parents, in the form of a secure attachment with their parents. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. When mothers were out and about, young children - up until age 6 - were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Mothers breastfed wherever they went, even in public. Christian mothers in the Early Christian church communities practiced birth nudity, with mother and child being naked next to each other, with this making it easy to facilitate skin-on-skin time with children. Children then, around age 6, started to play freely outside (after checking in with mom), venturing further and further from home, but then retreating to the sustaining warmth of mothers once more, in the form of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. But, once children hit puberty, they wanted a place of their own to sleep, and so parents allowed children to sleep on their own. This was seen by parents, in bittersweet mode, as the beginning of the end of parent-child closeness to children.
Children, without a doubt, are sinful human beings. This is not up for debate. Children have the same entitled nature that we as adults struggle with. But, children can learn to struggle against their nature as well. A sinful nature does not need to be beaten out of a child. Children are capable of self-improvement just like adults are. The key to self-improvement in children is parents working on their sin nature, and children seeing this clearly. Children will pick up on a parent avoiding entitlement, and will avoid entitlement for themselves. They just need a secure attachment with parents first.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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