Why to catch children being good (instead of children being bad)

Many parents think that you should catch children being bad, and punish them. Most parents argue that punishment is good for children. This is a common attitude for American parents to have. Most American parents think discipline is something to impose on children. The fact of the matter is that children are capable of self-discipline, and thus should be encouraged to discipline themselves. This is what we mean by catching children being good.

Catching children being good is part of the broader Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; May it be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, inclduing any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. In the 1st Century, Christian parents worked on centering their entitlement, and their children followed suit. When children were caught emulating the disciplined example of their parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the right path". Children were caught being good, and this good behavior was learned through the atmosphere through the disciplined example of parents. Children absorbed the values of parents, and when they showed the Christian discipline of their parents, they were rewarded with lavish praise and encouragement. Sometimes, parents had to give explicit instructions. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to parental instruction. Parents could not issue lawful orders to minor children, and so they made requests from the bottom of their heart, hoping children would listen out of trust and fondness that parents sought to earn from children.

In order for your disciplined example to have worth to your child, you have to form a secure attachment with your child, which starts with mothers and ends up with fathers. Mothers in biblical times, during the first 6 years of their children's lives, were in constant closeness with their children, with children being held in skin-to-skin comfort and sustenance by mothers in the home, and wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets when outside the home. Both mother and child were naked when in the home, and children were always naked until adulthood. Child nudity was a key part of the Early Christian parenting context, and made it easier for mothers to bond with, and co-sleep next to, their children in skin-on-skin format, with mothers being naked as well. This closeness impacted how children approached their fathers. Fathers made themselves at home with their children through masturbatory fantasy about their children, which made for a close bond between father and child, usually father and daughter. 

When parents engaged in the abovementioned parenting, children automatically emulated the disciplined example of their parents. Then, parents could praise and encourage children when they followed the example of their parents. When parents form a secure attachment with their children, their children want to follow in their parents' footsteps. This transformation in a child doesn't happen overnight, but it surely happens on its own. Children grow up entirely on their own, guided by the disciplined example of their parents.

Contrary to popular belief, children are capable of self-discipline. Children just need a rational, disciplined adult in order to grow up to be rational and disciplined adults themselves. Children usually model themselves after adults that they like. The idea is to win children over so they like you, and like you enough to follow in your footsteps. This means that if you want a disciplined child, YOU need to be disciplined yourself. 

In most cases, children start to emulate a parent's disciplined example sometime after age 6. Children usually, from there, revert to a more infantile state when mothers are around. But, as they get older, they gradually need mothers less and less, being convicted of the discipline of their parents. By the time they are adolescents, they are ready to take on the world, but have to wait until age 18 in order to have the rights of an adult. A teenager raised in an attachment parenting home is, on average, more independent than a punitively parenting teenager, and is also more tough and resilient than a punitively parented teenager. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!