Zero expectations: Why children should have no rules

Many people think that children should have rules made for them, meaning a list of rules up on the wall for children. Many parents believe strongly in this, as it is thought that if you don't make rules for children, and set them consistently, children will "challenge authority". The fact of the matter is that children don't need rules. They don't need control from an adult. They need to learn how to control themselves.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment; That it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a standard of Christian discipline for parents in relation to children that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, including especially from children. Children owe nothing to parents, and parents owe everything to children, with this forming a chastened up example for children, backed up by the occasional righteous test that is the word "no" or its various variants, as denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia). This form of righteous test involves a parent giving instruction, including the word "no", and if the child does not heed instruction, it is assumed they cannot due to their cognitive and emotional immaturity. This is weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργιζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages, meaning the slightest of personal offense, including the slightest of offensive touch or words. This was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the Law, and prohibit all punishment and control of children within the Christian churches of God. Penalties for the punishment of children, as well as any controlling measures in parenting, were very severe. All punishment of children was seen as a grand offense, meaning kidnapping, and was seen as deserving of death, at least at some level. Punitive parents were excommunicated from the Christian churches of God, as well as all those who defended them in court, including all witnesses called on their behalf, and this was seen then as a death sentence in symbolic form. The rod verses in Proverbs and Hebrews do not refer to spanking, but a dated legal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, used as a last warning before putting an offender to death, who had to be an ADULT child and not a minor child - the translation is biased towards Roman cultural biases in all of the English translations, which come from the Latin translation, with the Latin translation ultimately being the source of all the bias. The translation is not the Word of God, but the original Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic language, as understood in context.

How do you get children to follow your example? Love your child, meaning esteem them above all else, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to one's child, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting securely in the love and grace of parents, as denoted by the Greek root word translated "obey", which is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo). This word refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with children feeling safe enough to express themselves however they feel is fit, fearing no punishment and reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times. Think a mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up next to the bosom of his mother, with an older child in tow next to her mother, in the nude, with the mother gathering water to cook food and to drink. This was how biblical parenting went then. True biblical parenting is very primitive, in a way that allows the child to rest and develop as is.

Yes, children should be allowed to develop as is. Children's behaviors change from the time they are 3 until they are 13, and they change because most childish behaviors are a phase, and something to let go. Children usually don't listen to adults because they don't understand the instruction given, meaning their brain cannot fully function enough to absorb the request, so they just fall back onto what they know. 

Children need to form their own discipline regimen, connected to their parent's discipline regimen. Children usually form their own self-control if left to their own devices, and usually, it emulates that of the parents. Parents don't need to do much in terms of intervention. Just allow the child to develop as is, without trying to control the child, and then watch how they want to be just like you.

Children had immense freedom in ancient Israelite culture and adjoining churches. High-risk play was allowed in biblical times, with many of the games having sexual undertones to them. The most high-risk game was "marriage", where children had the opportunity to be like an adult and have sexual intercourse (sexual contact was the defining contract in a marriage that finalized the papers), which would get the two children separated and supervised more closely. Most children embraced, and didn't have sexual contact, as they were just children. Children were always supervised to some degree, meaning they never left the line of sight of parents. There existed environmental hazards, such as snakes and scorpions, and parents had to keep children safe from those things. Children had freedom to play freely, including even high-risk games, but parents were always there to supervise and keep their children safe. Hebrew and Christian children never left the side of their mothers, and also were supervised by their fathers at times, especially in the context of homeschooling children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is Hell and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!