Many parents abuse their children in the United States, with 94% of parents supporting lawful physical abuse as a means to control a child. This comes from an outdated idea that children should obey their parents. Listening to parents is a biblical concept, but is conflated with an opposing concept - pro-social rebellion, which listen to pro-social compliance/cooperation. Give a child a chance to blow off steam, and they will trust you when there is no time to.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable trust in the care and safety of parents, being able to be oneself, telling all to parents, owing nothing in relation to children, yet nonetheless listening to parents and heeding instructions from parents based on gratitude for respect given from them, not fear of punishment. This form of surrender to parents allowed rebellion against parents, especially with younger children. This means, at the very least, being able to cry without being punished, but also to give orders. The concept of Christian love for children is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to submission to the every need of a child as their enemy, seeking to be their friend, convicted of their depraved adult nature, sacrificing for children as Christ sacrificed for His children, in a way that serves to be a shelter for the child, in a way that allows for children to think for themselves in relation to their parents, demanding their needs righteously, expecting only supply from parents.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses under the Law, meaning the torts and damages, including assault and battery laws that were extended to children in terms of protection. Basically, anything that offends the child, meaning in terms of upset and/or discomfort, is abuse when linked to entitlement. This includes quashing pro-social rebellion, which is any defiant behavior that advocates a need.
Pro-social rebellion is not to be quashed, not left go. It is to be attended to, as defiance is a cry for help from a child, meaning they need something, usually something as simple as loving attention. Children usually cry and scream because they feel alone and helpless, so a parent needs to stand up to the plate, and listen to their every demand for needs, in a validating and reassuring manner, like a sounding board. Children rebel to communicate, and they do so out of frustration, because they do not yet have the words nor self-control to "ask politely".
Children in ancient Israel and adjoining churches were allowed to rebel towards parents, and parents treated the cries of children as a petition for needs, and gave them what they needed, including validation and reassurance of big feelings. Mothers also used pro-social punching bag and pro-social ragdoll tactics, meaning their children led parents to what they needed, and when upset, were allowed to vent it onto parents.
The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them BURN! Let them SUFFER in the ever-burning lake of fire and brimstone, which is the second death! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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