Why behaviorism is for parents, not children

 Many parents use tools of behaviorism on children. I grew up in an authoritative home, and much of the abuse I suffered was based on attitudes of behaviorism. Most parent see children from a behavioristic lens, when they should see themselves in relation to children in a behavioristic lens.

It says in Hebrews 12:11 KJV:

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

The Greek root word translated "chastening" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to discipline, meaning self-discipline and self-control. The Greek root word translated "grievous" is λυπέ (Latin: lupe) and refers to emotional pain in a grievous way, namely emotional pain from being a parent and having to manage the behavior of children. 

Parent should punish evil in themselves, and not do so towards their child. It says in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is the same as in Hebrews 12, παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to self-discipline and self-control in relation, in the form of co-regulation. Co-regulation is a parent controlling their own emotions, in relation to a child, with that child being able to confide anything into parents, and be themselves, without punishment or reprisal. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to setting limits and boundaries with a child, including the word "no". The word "no" should be used rarely by parents, with the child being let go and/or supervised safely for behaviors they cannot help due to their developmental immaturity, such as temper tantrums or running around screaming. Ultimately, if children feel safe with parents, they will emulate their traits.. One should be careful about things such as swearing, getting angry, or any other bad habit you don't want them to have, and this includes not punishing them or swear at them at normal childhood behaviors. A 4-year-old should want to run all around Wawa, and if they want to stay still and fear doing wrong, something is very wrong there.

Parents in ancient Hebrew culture were attachment parents, meaning cooperation with parents then was based on a close, secure attachment, mainly to the mother, with co-sleeping being common in such families. Behaviorism is the study of human behavior, based on rewards and punishments. Parents then applied punishments and rewards to themselves to control themselves in relation to their children, to model to their child good behavior instead of merely preach it. Boys, after age 6, were instructed in the Law and the Scripture, but in a non-violent manner, meaning using Socratic questioning, in a way that the child could think for himself as to internalizing biblical teachings.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! They will languish in the lake of fire and brimstone, suffering the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!