Many parents think they are allowed to make their child do something, or at least try to (some you can't do anything about). This is a common cognitive distortion of the parent. You can't. As a responsible, caring adult, I am not to attempt to make a child do something. This is the defining moral law in gentle parenting. "Make" is entitlement, and is "make" entitlement, so make no entitlement as a parent.
It says in Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke nor your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stir up" or "upbraid", and refers to momentary legal damages, meaning legal damages that were momentarily both imposed and documented. This means pain, shame, defamation of character, and/or fornication, guided by the entitled nature of adults. Parenting in the biblical context was attachment-based, with boys staying with their mother until age 6, and girls until age 12, with children ranging next to her, with gently accountable supervision, with verbal reprimand being rare. Punishment of children then would have been seen as deadly parental entitlement, and a form of kidnapping. Punishment was only legal in judicial settings, which was the Sanhedrin in the Old Testament, and also the Early Christian tradition of collective justice and gaslighting. In Christian churches, pro-spanking fathers were flamed out, starting with the divorce of his wife.
"Verbal reprimand" means non-coercive scolding, meaning not even a hint of "make" entitlement when lecturing a child on what they did wrong. With a child who is demanding that we go to the movies, I would simply say "no, the governor cleared the roads". The child would understand where I was coming from, trust me because I was not a punitive or violent adult, and then heed my warning about the roads, and then we find something different to do, or perhaps I make them popcorn of the movie theater type (perhaps the best part of the show for the child is the popcorn).
I don't make a child do anything. They choose to listen, because they know that I am their friend, and will never punish them. Children can make me meet their every vulnerable need.
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