Time-out: Why every adult needs it in relation to children

 Many people here think of me as being the parent-hater in chief. The dash there tells you the level of anti-spanking trauma. Many would be surprised on my views on time-out. Time-out in gentle parenting is not for children, but instead is for parents and other responsible adults. Every adult does, in fact, need a break now and then.

To make parenting stance clear, I am a gatekeeper advocate, in convicting/welcoming format. I assume stepping along my blog, and having the fear of God struck into them. But, once you're here, and have hit rock bottom, relax. The first step in combatting any addiction, including one to domestic violence against your child, is admitting that you have a problem. The premise of this blog is that most parents haven't gotten to that point. Pro-social proof...Oh yeah, a parent needs a time-out now and then. I sure do away from children.

Time-out, in a gentle parenting home, is dad being left with the kids while mom goes walking in the neighborhood, or leaving older children home alone while parents go for a romantic stroll. With pedophilic parents, this can include sexual fantasy when and where it is safe - meaning do NOT do so anywhere within the child's vicinity, or eyeshot in the reverse, as this is abuse of the child in the form of sexual exploitation, especially the hypothetical eyeshot context. In fact, any lustful look that the child perceives as unsafe or otherwise uncomfortable.

It says in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 KJV:

Abstain from all appearance of evil.

The Greek root word translates "appearance" is ειἶός (Latin: eidos) and refers to when evil shows itself to you, with the original text translating as "abstaining from all evil". Evil, summarized, is whatever harms God or your neighbor, with preference to the smallest and weakest that is your neighbor. Sometimes, in order to control oneself in relation to children, one needs to take a break.

I myself do regard sexual fantasy, as a pedophilic adult, as a form of time-out. That's exactly what its meaning is to me. 1-2% of parents are clinically pedophiles, meaning primarily attracted to children under age 14. It is actually common for men in particular, but adults as a whole, to be attracted to teenagers, and in this case, "time-out" would be making time for yourself in regard to sexual fantasies about children. Fantasies don't bother me, because they have nothing to do with how I would relate to a child in real life. It is basically a suppressed afterthought that, at this point, I have complete control over, and then reel out the extension cord when I want to watch TV (as opposed to filming it). That's all the images mean to me - TV reel. I simply HATE the prospect of harming a child, which is avoided by pro-social avoidance/escape...My healing journey as a pedophile started by escaping from children like the ocean, then staying away for quite a while to char and center myself, and now I remark to myself, perhaps, Max is more respectful to children? I'd say I am, not to brag.

Time-out can be extrapolated to any parent/adult self-care in relation to children, namely those that deal with the understandable stress from the children. Each parent should find whatever help them deal with stress, as stress exists in ALL parent-child relationships. I myself simply feel stressed and drowsy when around children - it IS stress, but on the gaslighting level, meaning where I might not be aware except for the tiredness. Stress from children, to me, feelings like I was on the road or the trail all day long, or perhaps jumping into the ocean all day long.

Relax, dear gentle parents. You're doing great!