Co-regulation and pedophilia: The link

 Many people misunderstand pedophilia. Some people here misunderstand how to treat a pedophile that washes ashore in their movement. Robbyn Peters Bennett is known as a pedophile hater to many in the pedophile community. I beg to differ, based on my experiences with her. Yes, like all pedophiles, there were adverse ones, but they weren't her, even if they were, because I refuse to believe she is still that cold and callous of a mother towards all...Co-regulation from a distance is what a pedophile needs to do.

Co-regulation, in biblical terms, is discipline, and is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia), meaning discipline motivated by the existence of children in relation to God. That's how I see it. Ultimately, the child has been extended by God to me as a reason to regulate my emotions in relation to children.

Ultimately, this means stressing certain avoidance, while at the same time stressing certain interactions with children, with the shape of such reflecting your child abuse habit. In my case, think a full blown wake. It is basically disproportionate yet proportionate force to the psyche in terms of conviction, meaning I tell myself how evil I am, and how the child does not deserve abuse at all, in the form of pro-social self-hatred. Pro-social self-hatred, and charring myself with such, leading to satisfaction of my accomplishments in terms of learning to better treat children with respect.

Co-regulation, for a pedophile, at the bottom of things, is using the presence or possible presence of children as a need to refrain from certain actions, and amend certain beliefs. Usually, these are actions that may lead to an abusive incident. With a spanking habit, this would mean going to the other room and cooling off, and taking deep breaths if you had the chance. With a pedophile, the solution is a bit more locational, and refers to avoiding contact with the child completely in certain contexts, such as certain rooms (ex. dressing, bathing).

According to research by Dr. James Cantor and other researchers on pedophilia, 3 out of 4 pedophiles have not sexually abused children. My projection and understanding, as an advocate, is that the majority of pedophiles are traumatic pedophiles, meaning they admit to trauma to varying degrees. The idea is to regulate trauma, which encases the pedophilic/parental cord, so that one reels in the pedophilic tendencies. It is something that should ideally be modeled by a whole community of parents, but today can be modeled by therapists.

I am very lucky to have the support and treatment I have. In my family, in the mental health system in my community, in my inner circle at the children's rights movement. Have I been attacked by fellow advocates? Yes, but not by their hand, at least most of the time. This is the right fit for me, since the children's rights view, by default, is that pedophilia is a mental illness, but can be treated just like any other pathological tendency that can lead to abuse of others, except perhaps its the easiest to treat. It is a parent turned inward in terms of protection. Most pedophiles go a different route than me - char then replenish. Whereas, with me, replenish/fire-alarm then char then gratitude for hard work leading to progress. I am an anti-abuse pedophile. Most of us, by my estimate, are women or teenage girls, judging by stats on pedophile support forums (MAP Support Chat). Most male pedophiles have a replenish trauma, in terms of self-esteem needs. I am not representative of all pedophiles, meaning most, but I imagine there are quite a few anti-abuse pedophiles...The word abuse doesn't bother me. If I disagree with your opinion, I'll just provide evidence to the contrary, perhaps in terms of intent.

I am not a parent, per se, but merely a struggling gentle parenting pedophile. I do not deserve to be known as a parent, as I am not that worthy in relation to a child. I am flattered by any notion that I am some natural parent to children.