Many parents support the use of corporal punishment in parenting, and cite the Bible as their source of pro-spanking "wisdom". Most American parents cite a few verses in Proverbs, and one passage in Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is commanded by God. However, the core of their pro-spanking argument is Heb. 12:5-6, and is on shaky theological ground at best. This verse in Hebrews refers to trials and tribulations, not any punishment from any earthly parenting.
God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:
And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. Whenever a Christian then had a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations to the people whom He loves the most. But, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them. Whereas, earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. The Apostle Paul here was comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.
Hebrews 12:5-6 does not refer to earthly parenting, and definitely does not refer to any "biblical spanking". God does not intend for His Parenting measures to be used in earthly parenting. However, God does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
The staple punishment in Ancient Greece was spanking to the bare bottom with an open hand. In most European pagan cultures, corporal punishment was a common way that parents dealt with their children. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw. Paul convicted the parent abusers of children with his inspired pen.
Parent anger directed towards children was not normal in the Early Church. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child out of anger, it was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey, and giving their prey only moment's notice. Most parenting in the Early Church happened out of worry or concern, with the only displeasure being allowed in parenting then being disappointment.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
