Child discipline: Understanding the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement

Many parents want their children to have discipline  This is a common wish amongst American parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. However, the fact of the matter is that children need discipline, but minus the punishment that comes with it in most American homes.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: bur bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children - you need to avoid offense in children. However, hurting your child's feelings is inevitable in parenting, and thus a parent should meaningfully apologize for hurting their children's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intentions. However, if you lose your cool with your child, you should definitely give a formal apology to your child, then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool as a parent alone is entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents that brought into the church their pagan custom of patrua potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

This second stanza spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Children were left to form their own discipline, and when this discipline showed in a child, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for children to follow, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, not punishment and force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction"  in more modern versions of the Bible. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When a child was caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged in their religious learning, with fathers then saying "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. This stanza here spells out the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, with this Hebraic tradition predating the coming of Christ by thousands of years, and was a long-standing Jewish tradition long before the New Testament was even written.

Children also need limits from time to time. However, children are known for not accepting all limits set. It helps to have a secure attachment to your child. However, even then, children sometimes have trouble accepting a limit. When your child doesn't accept a necessary limit, they should be given an apology in the form of reassurance of good intent. However, if you ever set a limit out of anger, you should give a formal apology to your child, and then commit never to lose your cool again as a parent, as parent anger, when directed towards a child, in and of itself, is entitlement/

Anger was never used as a guiding drive in parenting in the Early Church. Anger was only allowed in parenting in the case that parents needed to protect a child from harm and abuse. Anger was never allowed to be directed towards a child, as this was seen then as a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child.

It is a myth that children were administered "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting. Sexual correction of a child was banned in the Early Church. Fathers did have parent attractions towards their child, in which case he masturbated to sexual thoughts of his child. This righteous masturbation ultimately is how fathers imprinted on their child. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!