Many parents feel entitled to honor and respect from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that the Fifth Commandment commands that their children not speak against them. However, the Bible, when understood in context, simply commands that aging parents are well taken care of.
The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:12 KJV:
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
This commandment does not prohibit children speaking against a parent. Instead, children have the duty to take care of their parents as they age, as thanks for a wonderful childhood. However, when children were abused by their parents, children have the right to shun their parents.
The Fifth Commandment is a common excuse for punishing a child, and in many households, children are only punished for speaking against parents. However, the Bible deems all punishment of a child to be abuse, even when it is motivated by children speaking against parents. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking and punishing children - you need to avoid the slightest of offense in a child. The only way to avoid offense in a child is to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt their feelings, thus avoiding offense, period. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking and other forms of punitive parenting. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
The Fifth Commandment is clear when understood in context - care for your aging parents. This commandment was necessary then due to an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect in the Old Testament context. Quite a few adult children would beat their parents by day, and rape their parents by night to send parents places. The law had to be laid down by God - honor your vulnerable and aging parents by taking care of them as they age.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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