Child discipline: How to discipline your children without punitive measures

Many parents want their children Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common wish on the part of parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. However, the fact of the matter is that children don't need punitive measures in order to have discipline.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The biblical definition of child abuse consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The idea is to avoid offense in a child. However, hurting your child's feelings is inevitable in parenting, in which case parents should be willing to apologize for upsetting their child, lest it lead to offense, period. You as a parent need to especially apologize to your child if you lose your cool with them, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement. The first stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought with them into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power of parents to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking and other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed all punitive parenting in his secular writings. The most common punishment for children in Ancient Greece and Rome was a spanking to a bare bottom. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The second stanza of this commandment spells out the proper ways of disciplining a child, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with children. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a certain specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Children in biblical times were left to form their own discipline, and when they were caught in the act of showing discipline, they were praised and encouraged to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children, but backed up this example with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment or force. This form of positive reinforcement is an old Jewish tradition that was even practiced in biblical times. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more accurately translated as "instruction" (see the English Standard Version). When the child turned age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were praised and encouraged to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then said things along the lines of  "You can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context.

Sometimes, parents had to set limits, usually for behaviors that were unsafe or immoral. Whenever children could not accept a set limit, they were given an apology. All limits should be set out of worry or concern. In the Early Church, a parent who got angry with their child was seen as a viper ambushing its victim. It is never okay to set limits out of anger, and when you do lose your cool in that regard, you need to formally apologize with statements such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you". 

Christian fathers in the Early Church, contrary to popular legend, did not sexually correct their children. Instead, they masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children, thus imprinting on their child. Most of the time, fathers had a sexual attachment towards their daughters, with fathers and daughters being mutually unrequited in terms of their attractions to each other. All sexual relations outside of marriage were considered fornication then, including sexual relations with children. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!