Child discipline: How to properly discipline your child (meaning without punishment or force)

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal for parents. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. However, the Bible prohibits all punitive treatment of children, without exception. Discipline in the biblical context came in the form of catching children being good, and then showering them with praise and encouragement.

Proper child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that discipline should not offend a child, meaning discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking and punishing your children - you need to ideally avoid the slightest of offense perceived by a child. However, offending children is inevitable in parenting, which is when you apologize to your child. Usually, reassurance of good intent should suffice. However, if you lose your cool with your child, a full length apology is needed, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you". Any anger towards a child is entitlement in and of itself, as is refusing to apologize to a child who you upset. The Bible states here that your discipline should not hurt, but nonetheless, children need discipline. This commandment here cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", meaning the power of parents to use punitive treatment, including spanking and other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive treatment of a child in his secular writings. Paul here was ruling out the idea of punishing children, while stating in the next stanza that children need discipline - of the nurturant sort. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific form of discipline, namely of the teaching type. Whenever children were caught being good, such as showing patience or self-control, they were given praise and encouragement by fathers for more of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church imparted a good example for children to follow, with this example being backed up by praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment and force. This form of positive reinforcement is an old Jewish tradition that here made the Bible, in the form of catching children being good. Children need religion, as religion is a basic human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to hearing out the Christian warning of fathers. As soon as children turned age 6, fathers left out a copy of the Bible for children to discover and explore. When fathers caught their child studying the Bible, they praised the child, then saying "let me help you out with that book". Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers giving his warning by giving pointers on the context. 

Catching children being good is an old Jewish tradition, with Christianity being an offshoot of Judaism. Children were expected to have behaviors such as crying, whining, or pouting. These behaviors were excused by parents, but when children showed good traits, such as self-control or self-discipline, they were praised and encouraged for more good behavior of the same. Some children do act up egregiously, and that is because they are copying the entitlement of their parents.

Mothers nurtured up close, whereas fathers nurtured from afar. Fathers stayed away from their children during the first 6 years of childhood. For the second half of childhood, fathers praised and encouraged children when they were caught being good. However, punishment and other punitive treatment of children is prohibited in the Bible. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!