Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents get their parenting advice from the Bible. Most American parents think that it is okay to be punitive with a child, and cite the books of Proverbs and Hebrews as proof for their theology. However, the main rod passage exists in the book of Hebrews in the New Testament. The fact of the matter is that the book of Hebrews does not contain parenting advice. 

God's Word reads in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despite not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 

This passage, when understood correctly, is a comforting passage. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and is a type of metaphor found in ancient languages known as rod language. In biblical times, you would say "God whipped me hard today" as opposed to "I had a long day at work". God doesn't literally come down from the ramparts and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations to those He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when it doesn't hurt them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does in fact hurt them. This passage was intended as a means of comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. 

The book of Hebrews does not not contain parenting advice. However, the Pauline Epistles do mention parenting explicitly. God never intended to be seen as a model for how to be an earthly parent. Instead, earthly parents should do attachment parenting, avoiding any sort of offense perceived by a child. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking and punishing children - you have to avoid offending your child in any way. The only way around guilt according to this commandment is to be willing to make a meaningful apology whenever you offend your child, especially if you lose your cool with your child. Whenever a child cries a low, "swooshing" cry, or else are upset in any way due to your actions, they are offended by your actions, and thus you need to apologize. Refusal to apologize to an upset child in and of itself is entitlement.  This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, with this Latin phrase meaning "power to the parent", including the power of parents to spank or punish their children. Attachment parenting was a violation of Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, in the form of civil disobedience to Rome. All parents have to do is be willing to meaningfully apologize to children, and then you escape guilt under this commandment.

Spanking is not a biblical concept. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, and no Jew worth mentioning ever has supported the punitive treatment of children. Even King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for the little ones, with his rod advice being reserved for criminals as a sentence for crime.

When children cry in a certain "swooshing" cry, they need an apology. That cry can come from simply the word "no", in which case the parent should apologize by reassuring them of your good intentions, and also explain why they were told "no". The idea is to explain your intent behind the word "no", and then explain why you had to set a limit. If you instead find yourself defending yourself in relation to limits, especially in terms of "disciplinary rights", you are entitled. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!