Self-strictness: How to encourage strict attitudes in children the right way (meaning without punishment or force)

Many parents want their children to have discipline, and think the way to get a child to be disciplined is to be strict with children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents, However, the fact of the matter is that discipline comes in the form of encouraging strict attitudes in children, not enforcing strict attitudes towards children. 

God's Law reads in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to nurturing of a specific type, meaning the teaching type. Whenever a child was caught showing self-strictness, such as patience or self-control, they were lavishly praised and encouraged for more of the same. The more the child showed strict attitudes, the more they were praised. Children were also afforded a religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here to the Christian warning of fathers. Children were first introduced to religion by fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore, once children turned age 6. When children were caught in the act of exploring the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up their religious education. From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and fathers giving pointers on the context.

For the first 6 years of childhood, children were sheltered by their mothers, and were given basic needs such as sustenance and nourishment. Children usually refused the tear of the mother by age 2, but many times, they weren't done nursing until age 6 or even beyond. When children were under age 6, they had separation anxiety, where they morbidly feared that mom would "go away and never come back". When children turned age 6, they were then ready to be left go and explore their environment. When fathers saw self-strictness in an older child, he praised and encouraged more of the same. When he caught the child reading the Bible, he praised and encouraged more of the same.

Children developed self-control and patience naturally as the child reached age 6 or beyond. However, a way to speed up the process is to praise and encourage strict attitudes in children, and also praise and encourage religious study. When children hear the praise of their fathers, they naturally want to please their parents, and so they repeat the behavior that they are being praised for.

Punishment is not the way to teach a child to be strict with themselves. Strictness is not something to impose on a child. Strictness instead is something children naturally, in the course of their religious study. Most children learn strictness through their own religious beliefs. Children, like adults, have a human need for religion. There is no need to "beat the devil out of them" or "break their will". 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!