Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

Many parents think that a child who cries is deserving of punishment. This is a common attitude on the part of parents. Most American parents punish children merely for crying. However, the fact of the matter is that crying in children is not bad behavior.

Tending to a crying child is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good things for children, meeting children's every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1Cor. 13:4-8.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Many American parents punish their children just for crying. Crying is seen by most parents as bad behavior. However, Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than today's parents that children cry in order to petition a need from their parents. 

Most children growing up in the Early Church cried a deathly, screeching cry that no loving mother could ignore. This cry broke down mothers, and kept breaking down the mother, until she met the correct need of the child. Childhood needs come in five basic categories; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! Mothers first tested for attachment needs in the child, meaning mammary closeness, with milk-dependent children being offered the teat of mothers. If the mammary closeness wasn't enough to stop the child from crying, the mother scrambled to figure out why the child was crying. However, most of the time, all children needed was mammary closeness with mom.

The most common reason for children crying was separation anxiety. Most children under age 6 have a morbid, primal fear of mom "going away and never coming back". Children were in constant closeness to mothers until age 6. There is a reason why babies can be soothed merely by being picked up - they have separation anxiety for mothers especially, and need to be reassured of mom's presence. 

Crying is a developmentally-appropriate behavior for a young child under age 6, or maybe even older in some cases. All children cry at some point, and that is a means for the child to petition parents for their every need. Never ignore a crying child - because they need YOU. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!