"Benign" deprivation: Why children need ALL of their needs

Many parents buy into the concept of "benign" deprivation. Most American parents withhold many of the child's needs, in order to save energy for what children "really" need. However, the fact of the matter is that children need ALL of their needs, not just some of them.

The concept of "benign" deprivation is a violation of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. The burden of proof in the Early Church fell squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refer to doing good things for children, meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1Cor. 13:4-8. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in his original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Most American parents buy into the concept of "benign" deprivation, meaning parents avoid meeting a bulk of the child's needs, in order to make room for what the child "really" needs. However, the fact of the matter is that children need their EVERY need, not just some of what they need. Christian parents in the Early Church met the every need of children, without exception. 

Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! The customary law in the Early Church called for Christian parents then to meet their children's every vulnerable need, including attachment needs. The mother then first tested for attachment needs, meaning she picked up the crying child, and held the child next to her bosom in mammary closeness, perhaps breastfeeding a milk-hungry child. After that, if they continued to cry, mothers tested through trial and error to find out what the child needed. Children cried a deathly, screeching cry in order to break down mothers, and keep breaking the mother down, until she finds the need behind the cry. "Benign" deprivation was prohibited under the customary law of the Early Church, and also in the parenting commands of the Bible.

Parents often deprive their child of needs by way of saying "no" all of the time. However, customary law in the Early Church, by default, banned the word "no" in parenting. The only valid reasons for saying "no" was if the child was petitioning for things that were unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. When the word "no" was given by parents, customary law required Christian parents in the Early Church to give reassurance and an explanation for the word "no". Even then, most parents avoided power struggles further by saying nicer-sounding phrases instead of "no", such as "that won't work", "that's not possible", or "that can't happen". 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!