Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

Many children in America are punished merely for crying. This is a common thing that children are punished for. Most parents think that their children are "undermining parental authority". However, the fact of the matter is that children crying is not bad behavior. Crying is instead a mode of communication for basic needs.

Tending to the cries of children is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good things for children, meeting their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of offensive touch perceived by a child, stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Many parents punish their children when they cry. Crying, in many American homes, is deemed as a means for a child to "undermine parental authority". However, the fact of the matter is that Christian parents in the Early Church tended to the EVERY cry of their children, responding to the cries of a child with sustaining warmth. From there, the mother diagnosed the need before meeting it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whatever needs that the child cried out for, they got it.

Most crying takes place during the first 6 years of childhood. The main reason for children crying all of the time back then was separation anxiety. Most children under age 6 morbidly feared that mom would "go away and never come back". Babies likely cry to be held for these reasons - they want to know that you are still there for them. Children between ages 2-6 clearly have separation anxiety. Cries of separation anxiety in the Early Church were deathly, screeching cries that no loving mother could ever ignore. Children up until age 6 cried out loud because they needed something, with that something usually being warmth and attachment with you as a mother.

Whenever children cry, an adversarial response brings up an adversarial child. The idea is to give up the fight, and give into the cries of children. They aren't battling you. They need you. Christian parents in the Early Church did not battle with their crying child, but instead tended to the every cry of their children. In most cases, all the child needed was mom. Sometimes, children needed other needs, such as food, water, shelter, or transportation. But, the first thing mothers tested for back then was attachment needs, with the core attachment need being attention. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!