Oppositional-defiant Disorder: Why children with ODD need less limits (not more)

Many people think that Oppositional-defiant Disorder (ODD) is a manufactured disorder. This is a common myth about ODD. Most parents think that a child with ODD needs more limits. The fact of the matter is that children with ODD need less limits, not more. Reverse policing is an acronym denoting what children with ODD need in terms of parenting. 

The solution to behaviors coming from ODD is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as holding your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment 

ODD, at the core, concerns the locus of control of the child, meaning a child with ODD feels controlled on all ends by adults. Children with ODD are very sensitive to adult control, and so, when adults try to control them - which comes naturally to most adults - they throw a temper tantrum to shake off control from adults. This mistake by adults often leads to power struggles that need not be.

Reverse policing is the solution to behaviors stemming from ODD, and is where children are reverently feared like one would the police. When a child with ODD demands something, parents are to give up the fight against their child, and give in to their child's demands. What you may find is that the whole thing was about you controlling your child, instead of the reverse. At the core, a child with ODD is highly sensitive, and thus they overreact to being controlled by adults, in a way that seeks to overthrow said control.

Children, in biblical times, were a lawful authority over their parents, with children being able to issue lawful orders to their parents. Children were feared and revered as vulnerable appearances of God, called to judge the charity and generosity of adult-kind, reporting straight to God. Parents could only say "no" to their child if the child's orders were immoral or unworkable. Speaking against children was deemed perjury, as children were seen as capable of doing no wrong, even if a child could technically legally do things considered wrong. 

Sometimes, in severe cases of ODD, the acronym of righteous parent abuse applies. Children with ODD have strong demands, and sometimes they demand something completely unworkable or immoral, in which case the parents just have to take a beating. In biblical times, minor children sometimes beat their parents when they didn't get what they wanted, and everyone else looked the other way, due to the first-to-last nature of Ancient Jewish society. Parents were in a very vulnerable position in biblical times, as they could not sue their minor children in court, even for constructed offenses, until they left the house as an adult. Whenever a child was taken to court by their parents, the church elders took the side of the child, every single time. 

ODD is usually secondary to another disorder, usually autism, ADHD, and/or bipolar disorder. In most cases, psychotropic medication can treat the ODD by treating the underlying disorder. Sometimes, the underlying disorder is medication resistant, in which case parents just have to live with occasional outbursts in the home. ODD associated with pure autism cannot be medicated, as autism itself cannot be medicated, and so parents will have to learn to live with such a child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!