Honor thy father and mother: Why it really means secure attachment

I am undergoing an gaslighting ticker test, and I am learning a lot about God's design for parenting. I, in fact, am not a creationist, and instead God lit the fuse first to create everything. Part of God's design is how children relate to their parents, and vice versa. I do heed the command of honor parents, namely honor my mother. It isn't merely an action, but an attachment lead to action.

Christian love, in parenting, is not dominating a child, but lawful, dutiful, and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of a child as her enemy, submitting to the child from a place of remorseful ignorance for merely existing in relation to a child, knowing one is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for said existence, thereby serving children dutifully, expecting absolutely nothing in return for being a parent, including recognition of said glorified title, with Christian love being denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao).

Love is a legal document, with intent leading to action. Intent to do good for another person, motivated by any faculty (mens rea), becomes love when it does good for the other party, by their perception of needs (actus reus), and not everyone else. Usually, in parenting, love is motivated by attachment, and if you truly love your child, you have a secure attachment to your child.

We can connect this to another issue, children's rights abuse incidents (perpetrated by hostile forces using our movement like a railroad). My mom did not physically batter me, at all. She verbally assaulted me in a vulnerable case of abuse. Not all abuse is clear-cut. This type abuse simply was kidnapping, by way of nuisance by means of absolved apology, meaning it is an apologetic crime to the level that I forgave the incident before it formed, and we bring it out of the toolshed only to educate. She was dizzy and frantic, not monstrously aggressive. Her blood pressure was high. What happened here? She was completely in tune with my upset, and screamed at me because she felt hopeless about the situation, and wanted to believe that she could stop the gaslighting situation. She couldn't. These things just have to run its course. It was like looking ahead at where a worm would end, like predestined fate, knowing there is an end at the end at the end of the tunnel. Mom didn't get that, and wanted to help - a bigger deal for her than me...I could tell my mother was "in tune" about this, but couldn't show my compassionate side because it was blocked up, through necessary stoicism for the human race.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender to the love and grace of parents, meaning secure attachment to parents, knowing that one can say or share anything with a parent, and expect no punishment from their parents, nor any reprisal or judgment. Parents were servants to their children, not towering authority figures. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Repent!